On to everything.

Ok, ok. I admit it. I'm not even in New Jersey yet. But I am in the midst of piles and piles of my clothes trying to figure out what's staying, what's leaving with me, and what's being given to the Goodwill. Not to mention, I'm looking at all the things that I have acquired in my 22 years of life (most of which mean lots to me), and trying to think if I should take them to decorate my (possibly) shared room in Newark.

I'm leaving for orientation in two days. And I'm not really nervous. I'm excited, yes. I'm...calm, I think. And if you know me at all, I'm never calm about anything, so yes, this is strange.

I think it's because I feel a little stuck here in Lacey. Why am I here? It's become a strange waiting room, in between where I was and where I'm going next. I recognize the places (mostly...Lacey has undergone HUGE changes since I lived here), but neither the people nor the places are the same, or, maybe they are, and I'm just experiencing them differently. That's quite possible, and probably true. Either way, it leaves coming "home" as a experience that is different every time it happens, and less like home every time.

So maybe that's it - that home will be a strange, viscous-like substance. Something that I can't quite capture for awhile, something that, like an ice cube, melts faster and drips through my fingers the harder I try to hold on to it.

So, on to my future home, at least for the next year. On to the East Coast, where I've never called home. On to my JV year, where I hopefully will be challenged in every way I have ever imagined, and then 4 or 5 more ways that I never knew existed. On to life - the rest of my life - the beginning of everything that is to come.

Love, Bethy