Christmas(es)...mostly of the Polish variety.

**note to reader: this post is being posted about a month after I wrote it. The way I figure it, it's better than 2 months late.**

I have eaten my fill of mazurek. The little Polish cookies, sort of like shortbread with different toppings are delicious, yes. But at this point, I've been eating them for two weeks, and can't do it anymore...until Easter that is, at which time I will be all too enthusiastic to pop them into my mouth until I feel sick because I have eaten too many.


I'm full of mazurek earlier this year than any other because I did a Polish Christmas in Newark before I came home. The journey that led me to come home for the holidays instead of staying is one for another post, and I won't get into it here. But, I insisted then, that I would do Polish Christmas Eve on the 17th...exactly one week early. And, as all things, it started small, and grew. And grew. And grew. And on the 17th, one week early, the Newark JVC house held a Wiligia with 7 guests - coworkers and friends.


Having never cooked the dishes for Polish Christmas before - only Easter, I tried my best, and found, as I did when I did my first Polish Easter by myself, that that is what home tastes like. Polish Christmas.


And on that night, we lit the candle in the window, we put the straw at the corners of the table, I read the Polish blessing, and everyone stood in a circle and broke oplatki with each other. And once again, "home" got all confused and fuzzy in my mind. Because maybe just at that moment, I couldn't imagine what else would be necessary to make that home.


...and then I went home.


Home - where my mother and father and sister were all also cooking and lighting the candles in the window and setting the table and I had Polish Christmas again. They were exactly the same, and at the same time completely different experiences. I can't say which one I "liked better". There was really no way to compare them. Same smells, same tastes, same traditions - just pulled off in a slightly different manner.

Christmas was definitely different this year. A little rushed - I was only home for one week instead of two - and it was hard to think about coming back to life in New Jersey. But it was still Polish...(and we all know that's really what counts!)

love, Bethy

PS pictures to come soon once I figure out how to do that with no internet at home and no wireless at work with my pictures on my laptop. Hmm...a conundrum.

Snow Poetry

I found this poem that I had written last year on October 2. The first snow of the year was October 1, and I had been in the village all that day (Akiak, if I remember correctly), so the morning of the 2nd was the first morning that I walked to work after it had snowed.



There was hardly a dusting on the ground, but I had been helping out with volleyball practice in the morning, so, at 7:45am, I found myself going from the gym at BRHS over to TWC, and walking in the still and the quiet, I found this:

Today I walked to work
and whiteness brushed my face
landed on my nose and eyelashes
My hands reached
for cold
and warmth
and the beat went on
in my head
in my feet
in my heart
And I thought
I could stay here for a minute
for a day
forever
or...

Today I walked to work
as the snow fell.


Today is December 2. Exactly one year and two months after I wrote that. And in my commute to work this morning, I was thinking about all the differences. We haven't had any snow here, and I honestly kind of can't believe that it's December already...it's not very cold. As I remember, people kept telling me that Newark winters were the worst, but it's weird to not have snow now (in AK for one year, and here I am, expecting snow everywhere haha).

It was interesting to see that even in October, I had already fallen in love a little bit with Bethel, with Alaska, maybe just with the snow, but it was there.

And now here I am in New Jersey, desperately trying to figure out if I'm a "city girl" or ...well, or not. Yes, I love the drive in big cities - the energy - the lights, the action that is always happening. But I found that I also love the quiet, the whispers, the darkness, and the community that Newark, New York, San Francisco, Boston, DC can't offer. And the snowflakes landing on ground that doesn't "belong" to anyone - it is the earth - it "belongs" to all of us.

The search goes on...
The possibilities for next year are looming, opportunities starting to knock, and early as it seems, decisions are needing to be made. I both welcome and dread making them.

I wonder when it will snow here.

Love,