Things on my mind

I'm sitting in my kitchen, listening to my iTunes which now consists of some of the most eclectic music combinations that I've ever thought could exist. (I say this not to insist that I am an eclectic person, rather because I'm not really sure what else to call D.A.N.C.E. by Justice followed by Ubi Caritas by the Cambridge Jubilate Deo Singers followed by something from Seussical the Musical Original Broadway Recording followed by Orphan Girl by Crooked Still followed by...well, you get the picture.) Yes, I'm sitting in my kitchen on this lovely...Monday morning (I firmly believe that it's morning if it's within a few hours of waking up, regardless of AM or PM.)...not working. Yup. The Swine Flu caught up to me. I tried to foil it by moving across the country - clearly that didn't work.

Last weekend (the 19th-22nd), I was traveling in Raleigh, NC and Columbus, GA for the School of the Americas Protest. I saw tons of people that I knew, reconnected with old friends, made some new ones, etc. It was lovely. And then I came home with swine flu. (Although honestly, I think one of my teens had it before I left so maybe I got it from her?) The point is, that who the hell knows where I got it, I got it. And boy was it vicious.

I guess I'm more glad that I hadn't put any money down on any Thanksgiving plans because last Monday, at about this time (12:30) I found a doctor who would take my health insurance, and made my way (via a cab who was a little more competant than the last one I had to take...oh, cabs in Newark are worth of their own rant....I mean post...later) ...made my way to a doctor's office in Maplewood, NJ. (About two towns over, a little hard to get to, but the doc sounded really nice on the phone.) I went into the waiting room, promptly got a million forms to fill out and a MASK. The conversation went like this:

Receptionist: "Hello! Here's some papers to fill out" (clicks on computer) "You're here for flu symptoms? Here's this as well" (hands over mask)
Bethy: (laughs self-deprecatingly, because honestly, what the hell else am I supposed to do?)
Receptionist: "I know, I know, it looks great!"
Bethy: (FML.)

So, much to my chagrin, I must not be a real adult yet, because I had to call my Mom to help me fill out one of the forms. Yes, I have decided that being able to complete all of the forms required when going to see a new doctor is the indication of adulthood. Clearly, I'm not there yet. Almost, but not yet.

Well, the doctor came before I was finished with the forms and brought me back to the exam room, took my height and weight (I still find it fishy that doctors say "it doesn't matter if you take your shoes off when I'm weighing you. Whatever you want to do." but but but...my shoes weigh a LOT, right?:)

Well, the point is that the doc told me that I couldn't work until I could go 24 hours with no fever without taking any ibuprofen, and then I had to come back to her to get checked out again to be "medically cleared" to work again. Yes, she gave me a note that had the words "may not work until medically cleared" on it. Hoooooly moley.

So, without much else to do, I went home. And I stayed home. I have been outside the walls of this house one time in the last week, and that was to take a bag of garbage out to the garbage can. I went through the fevers and the shakes and the body aches, and quite a bit of ibuprofen.

I watched alot of Stargate...by a lot, I actually mean that I finished the entire Atlantis series. I'm now completely out of the stack of CDs that Anthony brought with him when he came to visit me in the beginning of September. And I've been thinking alot about next year. Every day, I miss Alaska like I could get ripped apart from the feeling. And it's hard to try to imagine loving living here in Newark, where anywhere outside the house feels so tenuous and unsure, unsafe. It's hard for me to admit to myself that I may never feel safe in my own neighborhood, on my own block.

But, as I was listening to my music this morning, and thinking about the future, and thinking about returning to work tomorrow (I'm going back to the doc to get "medically cleared" today at 5:00!) I was also reading my friend Kristina's blog (a JV in DC). That led me to Tom's blog (Baltimore) that led me to Stacy's blog (also Baltimore) and on her blog list, I saw a blog from one of the JVs in Bethel. Jill. I don't even know her, but you betcha I read her blog and laughed at the posts about just starting life in Bethel - they felt just like everything that happened to me at the beginning of last year. And I cried a little bit at her descriptions of some of the people she's serving and the hardships in their lives. And just as I finished, Ben Lee came on my iTunes, and reminded me that "We're All In This Together". And each word of that song came true in my mind, thinking about Newark, Bethel, San Francisco, New York and everywhere in between. Maybe what I need is to keep reminding myself that what I am doing, this change that I'm trying to make every day in Newark, NJ is somehow connected to what Jill is doing in Bethel - in many more ways than we're both JVs. Maybe something cosmic is at work here, maybe this is God's way of getting me to get it that I can be connected to Bethel - even here, even now, even when I'm on the 31 bus, enduring the stares and muttered comments and feeling like the worst type of fish out of water ever. Maybe.

Realizing this doesn't really make it easier. But as I return to work tomorrow, it's a thought to bring back to work with me...to bring back to regularly schueduled life with me.

Love, Bethy

Let's talk about bugs.

I know it's been awhile since I've updated. Sorry about that. Life has been busy and crazy (as per usual) and blogging about everything has once again fallen to very low on the list. But tonight, as I am laying on my bed and watching the first two...three...ok, maybe five or six by the end of the night...episodes of Stargate Atlantis, I'd like to discuss bugs.

Yes, bugs. Specifically the common house centipede. Sounds cute, doesn't it? Awww, you might think, that's like a nice bug in a children's story, right? Well, yes, I'm sure that centipedes have made appearances in many a picture book. They also make appearances in our house. Really doesn't seem too bad? Meet our house guests...


Now, I want you to stick out your index finger. Look at how long it is. That's how long they are. And they move fast. I've killed two already, and been on the hunt for another one that just scuttled at about 100 miles an hour under my door and out into the hall and then disappeared.

Now, I am not generally the squeamish kind, and I don't have problems with bugs when they're outside. Emphasis on the NOT being in my room part. Seriously, though, I have definitely never seen a bug this big or one that moves this fast. And certainly the creep out factor is probably as huge as the bug. (Note: Seeing one zoom across the floor of the bathroom at 4 in the morning, I legit thought that I was hallucinating.)

Wikipedia ensures me that I need not worry about bites, though the centipede does have poison. The article, here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scutigera_coleoptrata has many more details and some other lovely pictures.


Here's one eating a cherry tomato


and the potential that they have to grow...














Really, these critters are not only super creepy, but a great incentive to clean my room so that I can see them when they come back. Yes, the mice have not arrived yet, but the centipedes have. And I'll never think of cute centipedes in picture books the same way again.

love, Bethy

PS Google image also has pictures of centipedes eating other centipedes, as well as a centipede eating a mouse. Yes. Eating a mouse. Yum.